Fat, beautiful, mentally ill. Cis femme queer. Love fashion and baking. Pronouns are she and her. Religious. In my spare time, dogs.
Time to concede that I am definitely depressed again.
[relatedly, the student health center gave me some different therapists to call, but i really don’t have the energy to do that. I called one when I was feeling better and she doesn’t have an appointment until Oct. 20, and probably I shouldn’t wait that long? Ugh.]
okay but was there really a time when men were kind?? when their voices were soft??? and their words inviting??? was there
Yeah, plenty of men are still like this. A lot of us have just been hurt by ungrateful women and have no reason to put up the chivalry act anymore without being shown we’re gonna get the same love and respect in return. Respect goes both ways, don’t expect if you can’t supply.
To the first person. Fuck yourself. To the second person. Nailed it.
do u guys think we should tell them
I don’t know guys, should we?
Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen
I think it says a lot about the climate in which I came to a real sense of myself as a queer person that my knee-jerk response to Gay-Straight Alliances or LGBTQ groups is enormous suspicion.